My sleep had been restless this past week as I got closer to hearing my pathology results. I knew that regardless of the outcome that I would need radiation, but there were still some what ifs:
- What if there was some spread?
- What if the surgeon didn’t remove enough around the tumour and the margins around it weren’t clear?
- What if it was all a complete failure and I needed more surgery? More chemo? Or even worse, what if there was nothing else for me?
I was a bit like a kid at Christmas – I wanted to peek into ‘MyChart’ online to see if my results were up, but knew that I wouldn’t understand most of what was written and there would invariably be something there I wouldn’t want to see.
I felt incredibly calm the day before my appointment and took that as a sign everything would be ok. I also knew that it didn’t matter what the results were, no matter what, I was going to continue in battle mode until this was behind me.
Our appointment was for 7:45AM, we took both cars because Steve needed to work afterwards. Steve commented that I was zipping down the highway like a bat out of hell in my little cancer car.
I was eager to know!
My surgeon was very quick to tell us the great news that the lymph nodes were perfect, the tumour had clear margins, and that I had the best possible outcome.
And then I hugged her.
She also re-iterated that it was very a aggressive cancer and noted that it had started down the ‘superhighway’, so it was caught just in time.
The chance of recurrence is 10% at 10 years, but recurrence would most likely happen within two years. She told me to hold on to that marker. So what does that mean?
And then she hugged me ❤️
I’ve been told repeatedly that I would beat this because of my positive outlook and attitude. I’ve always been a glass half full kind of gal, but with all of you supporting me in so many ways, my glass has looked like this:
So while doubts may have crept in on very rare occasions, I KNEW that this would turn out in my favour.
WE all made sure of that ❤️